Upswing in Occurrences of Female Violence

While looking for articles on violence against women, a Teaching Woman found this article by Carey Roberts, a columnist on the website RenewAmerica.com. In it, he addresses the ever more increasing problem of bullying and aggression from girls. Girls' LEAP does not endorse all of his views, but he raises some interesting points.

He focuses his argument on the April 14 Tea Party rally in Wisconsin, at which, he states, Sarah Palin "...exclaimed the University of Wisconsin women's hockey team should tell 'GOP leaders they need to learn how to fight like a girl!'" He goes on to say that teachers have noted that "...the last thing students need is an exhortation to violence. Schoolyard bouts of fisticuffs are becoming more widespread among girls."

Roberts cites certain statistics to support his case: "A 2010 Department of Justice report, Delinquency Cases in Juvenile Court, ...documents a doubling of female juvenile offenders since 1985. Looking specifically at assaults and other offenses against persons, the female scofflaw rate soared by a sizzling 233%."

In terms of dating violence, Roberts provides results of a CDC survey that show that in 2003, male and female high school students were equally as likely to purposefully harmed their partner. He claims that in 2007, however, the results of the repeated survey show that females had become 25% more likely to instigate dating violence.

From these statistics, Roberts goes on to say, "Alas! Despite these worrisome trends, our society often makes light of female aggression, portraying it as proof of long-awaited female empowerment, and turning it into an atta-girl applause line at a political rally... Left unchecked, the problem of female lawlessness invariably escalates."

This article leaves us with several questions for you. Do you believe Roberts is correct in his assertion that women and girls are becoming more and more violent? If yes, why do you think this might be?  Is he correct that this behavior is condoned, or seen as "empowerment?"  Have you ever witnessed or engaged in such violence? And, most importantly, what can we do to prevent violence, both male and female?

The Girls' LEAP curriculum stresses the importance of being both non victim and non violent and strives to provide girls with the tools to be both. For more information about the impact of violence against and among girls in Boston, take a look at our "Voices on Violence" report, which includes statistics and anecdotes about girls experiences, and highlights the impact that Girls' LEAP is making.

The Importance of Educating Girls

Here in America we expect that girls of all ages will have equal access to education, but this isn’t the case for the rest of the world. For millions of girls education is just out of reach. Instead girls get dragged into doing housework, early marriage, child labor, and experience extreme violence. Others have noticed this and are trying to change education to be more gender equal in schools.

Girls are an important and vital part of society; if they are under-educated it impacts them not only as individuals and mothers, but it also impacts other woman, and the greater community. To provide girls with an education equal to boys will ensure their worth in society and prevent them from being subjected to sexual violence, child abuse, and malnourishment.  Establishing education equality for girls will also help fight poverty, lower rates of sexually transmitted diseases and aid in the general health development of girls.

Luckily progress has been made. “In 2000, then United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan issued this challenge: How can the nations of the world work together to stop the gender inequality around education?” The United Nations partnered with UNICEF and other organizations to form the United Nations Girls’ Education Intuitive (UNGEI). Their mission- to ensure equal education for girls all around the world by 2015.

 

At the start of the UNGEI campaign more than 10 years ago, 110 million children were not in primary school. Two thirds of these children were girls. Now, ten years later, the number of children not enrolled in schools has dropped to 72 million children, with girls making up half of that. According to the article, What Does It Take to Educate a Girl? (and Why Does It Matter?), “work remains to be done, but it's a dramatic difference which spotlights the achievable goal made possible with the dedication and work of volunteers, activities, local governments, and of course, the girls themselves.”

The United Nations is taking the necessary steps to fight the battle for girls and their education. At Girls’ LEAP we fight the battle for girls to value their bodies, emotions, and beliefs as well. Our physical skills and reflective curriculum are designed to make girls feel powerful and to educate them about how to effectively control their anger and keep themselves safe through their choices and actions. I am interested in education for young woman and believe in order for girls to reach their full potential they need to be educated on how to do so. I began my college career set on teaching but soon switched to social work. I have always enjoyed seeing children learn and think what the United Nations is doing is a step in the right direction.

Dating Violence- Teaching Woman Alex Vlasic Speaks Up

When I teach the Girls’ LEAP reflective curriculum to teens, I am amazed by how quickly the topic of dating violence comes up. In one program a couple of weeks ago, we asked the girls to split up into two groups and create skits about a conflict. The plots of both skits focused on abusive dating relationships. Today in another program, dating violence came up as an example of conflict, weeks before our discussions about healthy and unhealthy relationships.

This is serious! According to national statistics released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 4 adolescents experience emotional, mental, sexual or physical violence from a significant other. Over the Fourth of July weekend, Lauren Astley, a teen from Wayland, was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. The couple had been dating for three years before Astley ended the relationship.

Dating violence occurs when one partner holds power over the other – physically and/or emotionally. Mental and emotional abuse are often more subtle than physical abuse, and can therefore be more difficult for teens to recognize as unhealthy. As unhealthy behavior progresses, abuse can quickly escalate to sexual or physical forms. It is important for teens to be able to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy before it escalates. This is why we talk about advocates, healthy and unhealthy relationships, conflict management skills and asking for help in Girls’ LEAP programs. With these tools, teens can become more confident and more prepared to handle abusive situations when they arise.

One in four adolescents is too many! I believe that if all youth had the opportunity to participate in programs like Girls’ LEAP, teen dating violence would be significantly diminished. In Girls’ LEAP programs, girls learn to recognize the qualities of healthy and unhealthy relationships, and the difference between flirting and sexual harassment. They also learn how to deal with conflict in different ways and defend themselves both verbally and physically. This knowledge givesgirls in our programs the tools to stand up against dating violence.

Can Compliments Ever be Bad?

By: Katie Ginsburg, Teaching Woman and Team Leader

When someone tells me they love my shoes, my hair, or my nail polish, it makes me feel good.  It could be just what I need to feel better on a bad day.  Of course it’s nice to get affirmations, but if they just stay on the surface do they do good in the long run?

It’s very natural for us to notice how people around us look.  Appearances give us immediate clues that something has changed about an old friend, or that we have something in common with a new one.  Lisa Bloom in “How to Talk to Little Girls”  says, “teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23.”  Can compliments really reinforce these behaviors?

If a girl is used to hearing how great she looks, it is easy to make it a goal in order to receive more praise – whether this is conscious or not.  Let me ask this – how many girls have been greeted by a family member or friend with, “you look great, did you lose weight?” How many times is this followed by a conversation on healthy eating and exercise habits?  The initial comment without any follow-up can in fact reinforce self-damaging behaviors. 

Since starting Girls’ LEAP, I feel powerful.  So why haven’t I heard, “you seem so strong and confident, I’m proud of you for participating in Girls’ LEAP” from anyone?  I want those around me to notice this change in me, and it’s disappointing to continue having this overshadowed by my new workout leggings.

So how can we change this?  I would recommend Lisa Bloom's advice– lead by example and give more non appearance-based feedback.  Every interaction we have a youth is important.  We must reinforce that it is not what we look like solely determines the kind of person we are.

Girls' LEAP Introduces Summer Program Interns!

The success of Girls' LEAP largely depends on the work of our wonderful volunteers and interns.  This summer we are excited to welcome six new women into the Girls' LEAP family.  Four team leaders will guide a group of Teen Mentors through their professional development and two program assistants will work with program managers in the coordination of successful summer programs!

Hi everyone, my name is Dani and I'm going to be a Team Leader this summer. I am currently finishing my sophomore year at Bowdoin College. Through my experiences here I have really discovered my interest in women's studies and women's rights. I am a Gender and Women's Studies major and a Psychology minor. I am really excited to work with all of you this summer! Fun facts: grew up in Boston, played basketball really seriously until my freshman year of college, and am going to Ireland in the fall to study abroad. 

Hello!  My name is Katie and I will also be a Team Leader!  This fall I'll start my senior year at Pitzer College in California.  I created my own major of Social and Community Justice, focusing on women's studies.  I love working with youth and am very excited to do so again this summer!  Fun facts: I worked making teddy bears at Build-A-Bear Workshop for three years, have had 7 different addresses since graduating high school, and am unbelievably obsessed with pasta!

Hey! My name is Katherine and I will be a Team Leader this summer. I am currently a sophomore at Williams College in northwestern Massachusetts, where I’m majoring in English and Psychology. Growing up, playing sports with my three younger brothers was a huge part of my life. I’ve continued to pursue this interest through playing soccer up through high school and rowing and playing club volleyball in college. I have gained a great deal of confidence and direction through athletics, and I’m interested in how participating in athletics empowers women to care for, love, and strengthen their minds and bodies. Fun facts: I grew up in Southern California and I am Japanese, Mexican, and German.

My name is Claire and I'll be a Team Leader this summer. I work with youth in the community where I attend college, called Young Life. It is an outreach program and I work with middle school students, I started being a leader my senior year of high school. I am studying Human Services at Purdue University which is out in Indiana (I feel like I should say "yeehaw" or something). Some fun facts: I've lived in Indiana my whole life, I love Glee, I like to play soccer, I have visited Boston twice before, and I just finished my sophomore year last Saturday. I'm looking forward to being in Boston and meeting all of you!

I am Alex, and I will be the Teen Mentor Program Assistant this summer. I just graduated on Sunday from the University of Richmond with a double major in International Studies and French, and a minor in Women’s Studies. I am really excited to work with Girl's LEAP and all of you, and I am hoping that my experiences this summer will help me determine my next steps as a college graduate. Fun facts: I have a twin brother and two younger brothers, my favorite color is green, and I spent two semesters abroad, one in France and another in Cameroon.

Hello Everyone, my name is Ongachi Fani Simuli, but you can call me Fani. I am happy to be working with all of you as a General Program Assistant.  I really support the mission of Girls' LEAP and feel honored to be a part of this program. I A little about me, let's see...I attend Smith College I am a Psychology major and Religion minor. My hometown is Philadelphia and I hardly eat cheese steaks. I have 8 shades of red nail polish in my room (yes, I would love to paint your nails) and I adore turtles. I don't want to say too much because I need to have some conversation material (as you can see I am full of jokes) but I look forward to seeing everyone in person!! 

P.S. (I hope you can feel the excitement through the double exclamation marks)

Just for Fun: Smack Someone?

By: Kristen Cuneo, Girls' LEAP Self-Defense Lead Teacher and Teen Mentor Program Manager

I was on the Boston green line last week and because it was later in the afternoon, the T was starting to get a little packed. And so, passengers began entering that “other people’s personal space” zone. By encroaching on someone else’s physical space, you automatically get entered into their conversations, whether you like it or not.

I was lucky enough to be sucked into a conversation taking place between two late teenage girls. They were having a lively conversation, filled with cackles and giggles, about how one of the girls smacked her 4-year old sister and threw her across the room because she was getting on her nerves.

At certain points, I wasn’t sure if the nausea that I was experiencing was due to the motion of the swaying train car, or the lewd behavior and attitude of the girl and her friend.

After several minutes of describing the conflict in grotesque detail, including her sister’s tears and cries for sympathy (which were met with shouting), the girl quietly mentioned that she felt badly, and that she had not thought about what she was doing in the moment. Her friend, uncertain of how to receive this moment of vulnerability, did not respond. After not receiving any support or empathy for this disclosure of conscience, the girl reverted back to her original form.

I teach self-defense for a living: setting boundaries, teaching how to deal with conflict, anger and relationships. I LOVE teachable moments; helping people expand their perspectives and support them in moments of growth. I was appalled by this girl’s behavior and response. But in the moment, I felt like I couldn’t say or do anything. Or could I have?

Upon further reflection, I feel like I made the safest choice in the situation. The girl was getting pretty ramped up talking about the conflict, and I felt if I had interjected, things could have escalated easily (for an example of zero-to-boiling on a bus, see the video below.) In the moment, I had the courage to act, but I didn’t feel safe. The friend may have felt safe (enough to act), but clearly didn’t have the courage to do so.

As a friend, a peer, a family member, a co-worker, it is within your grasp to stand up against things you think are wrong. Acts or depictions of violence are NOT normal, despite how society has begun to numb us with the war, aggression and conflict we see in movies, on ‘reality’ (and fiction) TV and video games. In situations where you feel safe enough to act, but may not have the courage to act, hold yourself accountable to the potential you have to positively impact a situation.

The more people around in a situation, the less likely anyone is to do anything about it – a social phenomenon called, ‘the Bystander Effect.’ But this phenomenon does NOT justify inaction. If a friend, family member or co-worker shares something you feel isn’t right, YOU have the power to influence them. Take advantage of those situations, and feel good about the positive impact you can have on that friend, a train car-full of passengers and your entire community.

Sexual Assault as a Crime of Silence

Recently, there has been a significant amount of media attention surrounding sexual assault on college campuses; specifically, Vice President Biden gave a speech highlighting how assaults often go unreported and how university administrations can fail to take the necessary steps to prevent sexually hostile environments.  City Councilor At- Large Ayanna Pressley recently revealed her experience as a rape victim at Boston University and will be holding hearings soon to better understand the issue of sexual assault on college campuses.

At Girls’ LEAP the teens and college women often share stories about how sexually harassing behaviors are normalized and young women are encouraged to think of them as “no big deal.”

Since the violence against women act was passed in 1994 we have seen a tremendous shift in the social attitude and response to hidden sexual violence.  While this has been good overall, there is still an aura of secrecy and shame that surrounds most incidents of sexual assault.  However, the reality is that talking about sexual assault is one of the most important steps to prevention.

Many victims are fearful of reporting assaults for a variety of reasons, and especially assaults that occur on college campuses where the victim may know and interact with the perpetrator frequently.  Unfortunately, it is this silence that allows crimes of sexual violence to be perpetuated.  Every time a perpetrator gets away with an assault, it makes it a little bit easier for them and others to get away with additional acts of violence.   As parents, policy makers, youth workers, administrators and members of a community, we must make it easier for survivors to speak up in order to prevent this trend from continuing.

As Boston City Councilor stated-

“Mine is a truth shared by 17.7 million American women.
And, like 90 percent of rape survivors, I knew my attacker.’’

“I’m not demonizing or vilifying colleges and universities,’’ Pressley said yesterday. “If anything, this is an opportunity for colleges and universities to set the national standard and improve their brand.’’

Today, an astounding 1 in 4 women experience sexual assault during their college careers.

The Obama administration has released a report telling colleges and universities that they need to do a better job preventing and investigating sexual violence in response to a Title IX complaint filed by 16 Yale University students and alumni that claimed the campus was a sexually hostile environment.  An investigation is currently taking place.

In a recent CNN special, author and Director of the Women’s Center at Bryant University claims that, “because of the way universities handle sexual misconduct, it is often the victim who drops out of school. In fact, a survey I conducted of female students transferring into Brown University in the early 1990s revealed that:

one of the top reasons women may transfer colleges is because they've been sexually assaulted on their campus.”

According to Councilor Pressley,

“This is a crime of silence…in general, it is a crime that is underreported because of the shame, because of the stigma, but also because there isn’t a belief that there will be consequences, especially on a college campus where there is often contact with the attacker.’’

Sexual assault survivors can experience an array of emotions and side effects that might deter them from reporting an assault.  Some common reactions include: guilt, fear, avoidance, mood swings, anger, distrust, loss of control, numbness, and/or re-experiencing their assault.

In the midst of experiencing any of these reactions, action steps can seem intimidating or burdensome.  However, it is important that everyone have the tools to take care of themselves and prevent further sexual violence. 

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, here are the steps you can take to receive support and what to expect :

Hospital Care: (Information provided by Boston Area Rape Crisis Center- barcc.org)

• You can be examined and cared for at an emergency room. The sooner you get to the hospital after an assault, the greater your options will be.
• Preventative treatments for pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections are more effective.
• Evidence collection is an option. You do not need to report to the police to have evidence collected but, if you do have evidence collected, you may have more options in the future.
• Toxicology testing is available within the first 96 hours after an assault.  Ask for a toxicology kit during your hospital visit if you think you might have been drugged.
• Try not to bathe, shower, brush your teeth, or go to the bathroom. This is important for preserving evidence. If you already have, it is still possible to collect evidence.
• If possible, do not change your clothes. If you already have, put your clothes in a clean paper bag, such as a grocery store bag, and bring them with you to the emergency room.

Tell an advocate:

Often times the reactions experienced after an assault may inhibit a survivors ability to think clearly and act decisively.  If you are a survivor and are overwhelmed, tell a trusted advocate about the assault.  They can help you.

Boston Area Rape Crisis Center (BARCC)is a nonprofit organization dedicated to ending sexual violence through healing and social change. BARCC is an excellent resource for survivors as well as friends and family members. 

BARCC has specially trained medical advocates available to help you. Immediately following an assault you may face many emotional, medical, and legal decisions. Advocates can:

• Meet you at the hospital emergency room and stay with you during your visit.
• Provide information to help you make the best possible decisions for your situation.
• Advocate for your needs with the hospital staff.
• Talk with your family or friends about how to best support you.
• Help you find a safe place to go when you leave the hospital and figure out your next steps.

Disclaimer: it is best for survivors to repeat their story as little as possible.  If you decide to tell an advocate before filing a police report, give as little detail as possible by stating that you have been assaulted and that you need help.

File a Police Report:

If you decide to file a report, you should go to the police department in the city/town where the incident occurred. In Massachusetts, you have fifteen years from the date of the sexual assault to file a police report.  If the assault happened when you were under 18, you have 27 years since the incident to file the report.  There are exceptions to these limits.  In Massachusetts, many laws protect the privacy of sexual assault survivors. For example, all police reports related to sexual violence are strictly confidential. In cases of rape and attempted rape, the survivor’s name is kept private, including being blacked-out in written records.  A survivor may also request that information like an address, telephone number, place of employment, or school be kept private. It’s best to make this request as early as possible.  Click here for a list of resources in your town (provided by BARCC).

Report it to your school’s security office or administration:

Schools may have varying policies and procedures regarding sexual assault follow-up.  If you are concerned about the action steps your school takes, visit your campus security website or call an administrator who can give you the correct information.

ALL Colleges and Universities must follow certain steps required by Title IX including:

• Institution must have a sexual harassment policy
• School officer or administrator must discuss with the survivor options for formal and informal action.
• Institution should make every effort to keep the names of the parties involved confidential

Seek Counseling(Information provided by barcc.org)

BARCC (Boston Area Rape Crisis Center) Hotline: 24-hour hotline: 800.841.8371

• Support you anytime in the healing process.
• Help you understand your options.
• Get you access to services at BARCC and in your community.

Girls’ LEAP is dedicated to empowering girls and women to champion their own safety and well-being.  If you or someone you know is interested in learning more about violence prevention programs for girls and women, visit our website at www.girlsleap .org or call us at (617) 787-2112