Dating Violence- Teaching Woman Alex Vlasic Speaks Up

When I teach the Girls’ LEAP reflective curriculum to teens, I am amazed by how quickly the topic of dating violence comes up. In one program a couple of weeks ago, we asked the girls to split up into two groups and create skits about a conflict. The plots of both skits focused on abusive dating relationships. Today in another program, dating violence came up as an example of conflict, weeks before our discussions about healthy and unhealthy relationships.

This is serious! According to national statistics released by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 4 adolescents experience emotional, mental, sexual or physical violence from a significant other. Over the Fourth of July weekend, Lauren Astley, a teen from Wayland, was murdered by her ex-boyfriend. The couple had been dating for three years before Astley ended the relationship.

Dating violence occurs when one partner holds power over the other – physically and/or emotionally. Mental and emotional abuse are often more subtle than physical abuse, and can therefore be more difficult for teens to recognize as unhealthy. As unhealthy behavior progresses, abuse can quickly escalate to sexual or physical forms. It is important for teens to be able to recognize when a relationship is unhealthy before it escalates. This is why we talk about advocates, healthy and unhealthy relationships, conflict management skills and asking for help in Girls’ LEAP programs. With these tools, teens can become more confident and more prepared to handle abusive situations when they arise.

One in four adolescents is too many! I believe that if all youth had the opportunity to participate in programs like Girls’ LEAP, teen dating violence would be significantly diminished. In Girls’ LEAP programs, girls learn to recognize the qualities of healthy and unhealthy relationships, and the difference between flirting and sexual harassment. They also learn how to deal with conflict in different ways and defend themselves both verbally and physically. This knowledge givesgirls in our programs the tools to stand up against dating violence.