Personal Safety is not just about preventing a physical attack. It includes protecting our bodies, minds, and hearts from verbal harassment, bullying, stalking and all threatening behaviors brought on by strangers, people we know, and even ourselves.
In honor of Self-Defense Month (January) Girls' LEAP is sharing our Top 10 Personal Safety Tips. These tips address both daily and isolated occurances.1. Use your voice. Your voice is your first measure of self-defense. Whether it be a conversation with someone you know or a stranger on the street, your voice can act as a protective wall between you and any threatening behavior.
- Saying "NO!" is simple, to the point and understood in all languages.
- The volume of your voice should match or be slightly louder than the other persons and should increase as they come closer to you.
- Your body language should match your voice. Standing straight, making eye contact and keeping a serious face are important.
2. Walk confidently. Walking confidently will decrease your chances of being seen as an easy target.
- Relax your body
- Keep your eyes forward or looking around you
- Keep your shoulders relaxed and back.
- Relax your face
3. Set appropriate boundaries. Women especially are susceptible to people asking for help: favors, directions, to borrow a cell phone, find someone or something. It is okay to say "No!" Better to be thought rude than wind up overworked or in trouble.
- Assess the risk and your relationship with the other person. Sometimes it is appropriate to try and work things out and sometimes it is important to set more concrete boundaries.
- Some possible tools that address conflicts with people you want to maintain a relationship with: suggest another option, explain that is nothing personal, reaffirm that you care about them, explain your excuse, use your morals as grounds for the boundary you are setting (for example: I’m sorry that you are stressed about this exam but I don’t believe in cheating.)
4. Be aware of your surroundings. When you are in a new place, make some mental notes about your surroundings; street names, landmarks, suspicious behavior.
- If someone within two arms lengths of you is making you uncomfortable, they are in your personal space. You should take the appropriate steps to leave the situation.
5. Listen to your intuition. Animals live by their instincts, yet humans repeatedly ignore their own internal warning system! If you get a bad feeling about a person, place or situation, act on it by using the most situation-appropriate of the 3 As of conflict: avoiding, assertive, or aggressive.
- Aggressive- To be used in a threatening situation where you are in immediate danger- may call for raising your voice to a threatening tone or using physical self-defense.
- Assertive- Use boundary setting techniques to talk out a conflict with someone- may call for a mediator or supervisor.
- Avoiding- When you are in an dangerous situation and leaving will keep you safe, do it!
- Let people know where you are going and when you should be back.
- Always go to an advocate when you are feeling unsafe or have had to defend yourself physically or emotionally.
7. De-escalate a situation by staying calm and agreeable. Not only will you be able to think more clearly, but staying calm will help anyone else involved stay calm as well.
8. If you do find yourself scared and in an adrenalized situation, remember to BREATHE! When we are tense, stiff and scared our minds cannot direct our bodies to react in a rational manner. Breathing steadily will calm your mind and your body in order to help you respond successfully to a situation.
9. Use "I" language. Constructively communicating your thoughts and emotions will help others empathize with your point of view.
- Use "I feel frustrated when you say things like that" rather than "You frustrate me" when dealing with daily conflict. This will open a conversation rather than putting the other person on the defensive.
10. Take an experiential self-defense class. One that features simulated attacks so that you can practice in adrenalized situations.
I agree with tip #4! Staying alert will surely keep you away from being a victim of whatever malicious or violent circumstances. Don’t lose your focus and be very cautious.
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