A Teen Mentor's perspective on sexual harassment vs. flirting

When starting our program, Trinh (17) was quiet and shy, and not at all enthusiastic.  However, over the course of the past year, Trinh has set a record for teen engagement.  Trinh assisted in four programs and participated in 25 outreach events.  She has honed her leadership and public speaking skills, and discovered a love of mentoring younger girls.  After she graduates high school this year, Trinh plans to attend UMass Amherst and study psychology so that she can continue to counsel and support teens who struggle like she did. 

Today Trinh, Senior Teen Mentor extraordinaire shares her thoughts on flirting vs. sexual harassment:

Yay! Senior Teen Mentor Trinhy taking over the Girls’ LEAP blog for the day :D

Have you ever felt uncomfortable watching a girl talk to a stranger?  Maybe the stranger touches the girl.  Maybe the girl looks scared but doesn’t back away.  Are you wondering to yourself is this just flirting or is it sexual harassment?

Hey, if I was that bystander and had not taken a Girls’ LEAP class I would have thought- that’s her fault! She invited the stranger to get that close even though ten minutes ago, when they started talking, he was a safe distance away.  >:O

One of the Girls’ LEAP reflective activities we do in program looks at FLIRTING VS. SEXUAL HARRASMENT.  We ask the girls to share their opinion on what falls in which category. It was a surprise to me, as a Senior Teen Mentor, that girls as young as an 8-years-old can tell the difference.

“What is sexual harassment?”

“Unwanted touch,” one 8-year-old girl said.

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“It’s when you don’t want a person to touch you in your private areas.”

A lot of times girls may know a situation is not okay, but don’t always know how to respond.  Our reflective activity helps the girls understand the difference between sexual harassment and flirting and gives them tools they can use if they are ever in danger.   We talk with girls about their experiences- everything from smiling, winking, playful shoving, to rude sexual comments, unwanted attention and unwanted touch. This helps the girls identify the type of situation they are in so they can figure out what to say and do.  This reflective activity is super duper helpful because before learning and teaching it, I had no idea what considered flirting or sexual harassment!


Trinhy T.