Bullying involves more than a bully and a victim. In most cases there are usually always bystanders- people who watch or hear about bullying. The effect being that the greater the number of bystanders, the less likely it is that anyone will help.
Most people think that by being a bystander their role in a situation remains neutral. This is rarely the case. Depending on a bystanders response, they are either contributing to the problem or the solution.
Most people think that by being a bystander their role in a situation remains neutral. This is rarely the case. Depending on a bystanders response, they are either contributing to the problem or the solution.
Passive bystanders enable bullies by providing an audience. This along with silent acceptance allows bullies to continue their destructive behavior.
Proactive bystanders are people who utilize their role to prevent or stop bullying. Some directly intervene by discouraging the bully, standing up for the victim, or redirecting the situation. Others get help by rallying support from peers to stand up against bullying or by reporting the bullying to adults.
What you can do
Often times bystanders are bothered by bullying but don't speak up. Talk to your children about bullying at school and in the community. Discuss what bullying is and why it is hurtful. If you are comfortable talking about the issue, provide examples of safe ways to intervene and include any personal anecdotes of how bystanders have shown courage and made a difference in real-life situations. You can also help your child by directing them to other supportive adults or advocates such as a school counselor or Girls' LEAP teacher.
What Girls’ LEAP is doing
This past summer, Teen Mentors from Girls’ LEAP’s summer program began researching the bystander effect as it relates to bullying. With guidance from a Girls’ LEAP staff member, Teen Mentors created several pilot activities intended to spark conversation around passive versus proactive bystanders, and equip participants with ways to help prevent or deescalate conflict through their bystander roles. Supplementary activities will be researched and crafted this fall, with the hope to introduce a youth-led workshop on empowering bystanders in the spring of 2011.
It is horrifying to hear about and read about the bullying experiences young girls suffer. It is strange, however, to read about this event in such a context. I had previously thought that everybody was bullied and had been bullied, perhaps, except for that one popular girl at school. I learned later on that bullying is not normal, it is not a disliked, but necessary part of growing up. One needs to speak out and defend oneself. Silence only gives the bully more power.
ReplyDeleteThe existence of a program that intends to research this phenomena is admirable. There are many factors that go into bullying, and a big part of that is others simply allowing it to happen, and at times, even encouraging it. To stop bullying by attacking each of its contributory factors is an innovative way to look at it, and will be very helpful.
Girls LEAP is an amazing program that gives girls strength-physical, mental and emotional, and allows them to comfortable in their own skin. It is an admirable program that I wish I could have been a part of as a child.
It is admirable to see that the topic of bullying is being covered by Girls LEAP. I used to perceive bullying as a disliked, but necessary part of middle school, and growing up. Everyone was bullied, possibly, except for that one popular girl in school. Later on, I realized that bullying was not necessary, but simply a way for the bully to feel better about oneself by putting down others. The idea that bullying was not a big deal, however, was reinforced by schools and teachers who observed the blatant bullying and simply ignored it. That is one of the reasons students thought it was deemed acceptable to bully others. Bullying can only be carried out and continued through bystanders either ignoring it, or encouraging it.
ReplyDeleteGirls'LEAP attempts to put an end to bullying by attacking each other the factors the act requires. This innovative approach is very effective. But the simple existence of a program that enforces the idea the bullying is not acceptable will teach the girls how to act around others.
One of the things that impresses me most about Girls' LEAP is they bring this issue to the forefront - that no action is an action. That not only is every one of us is worth it, but that we must believe it, too. That not only must we respect others, but also respect ourselves enough to say, "no," especially because self defense doesn't only mean protecting our physical boundaries.
ReplyDeleteCreating a dialogue about bullying, especially among girls aged 8-18, is necessary. In high school, I was never bullied or bullied anyone (I was luckily a very confident 15-year-old and therefore not an easy target), but I knew kids, especially girls, who could be horribly cruel to others, especially on the internet. In school, when my classmates were bullied, bystanders usually didn't know that they could stand up to the bullies and say something, and those who did know were often too afraid of the repercussions to do so. I think that it is wonderful that Girls Leap has taken the initiative in educating girls about bullying, especially since some schools are trying to downsize the problem. Just having the knowledge that your single voice can stop a bully is empowering in itself.
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